Currently my stress level is on high. I'm not really sure why, I don't have a lot of stuff to do really.
I think its more the fact that my junior year in high school is almost over.
I don't want to be a senior yet.
I'm scared as hell.
I'm scared to:
- have the seniors leave and be all alone
- Become a senior
- Apply to college
- Graduate
- Leave the house, the state even, and go to college.
- to grow up.
Actually I'm terrified to read my poem out loud in class tomorrow. Like I already feel like I'm starting to shake. I have horrible anxiety when it comes to doing anything in front of a class. Last year for example, I had a full blown panic attack the night before we had to do a speech for our final. The only reason I got though that was because I knew I was presenting facts, and that's all that mattered. This is different. This is something that I wrote, something that is personal to me, something I would NEVER read aloud under normal circumstances. I feel sick to my stomach with the idea of reading this poem in front of the class. The option we have to record it, to me is ever worse because I sound like an idiot in recordings, so adding that on top of the anxiety I already have would be a really bad idea.
I know this probably sounds silly, ranting about English on a blog that was started to do an English project. But I'm just listening to the prompt, this is what I'm thinking about right now.
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